pandalicious's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sunshining Thru the Trees? I'm going to *try* to update now, but I'm doing the phones here at work, so it may not make any sense at all. I figured better an update here than in my usually nonsensical nawtynawty diary, which you can read by clicking below!!! Anyway... So Mike stayed Thursday. Friday he had plans to meet some girl that he'd been talking to all week. She was going to ride the bus down to our area to hang out with him. Neither of them had wheels, so they'd be hoofin' it all over town. Fine by me. Things were still kinda....... distant. Friday was the first night that I stayed at my apartment alone. Since he didn't have a key, I didn't want to be out super late, in case he needed to come back. I waited around for him to call, but I didn't want to waste the whole night, so I went to Best Buy and picked up my cd changer and then went shopping. I didn't buy anything. I was so nervous all night. I wasn't really sure what to expect. Was he going to be there when I got home, mad and wet? Would he stay with the new girl, would he have decided that he was better off without me? Should I *really* care what he thought? My mom kept calling me to find out if he'd called. This was making me even more nervous. Just hearing the phone ring, hoping all the time that it was him, just so I could know what to expect. Finally he called. He found a place to crash for the night. I wanted to know all of the details, because no matter how broken up we are, I don't want to think that I'm easily and happily replaced, you know? He said that he had a really great time, that Erin was top notch cool. He was going to be staying with this guy that he knew from back in the day that he'd happened upon while sitting at the Waffle House. He called from a payphone. He said, "Hey. I just want to say thank you for being the kind of friend that I want to be. And I want you to know that I'm going to try really hard to be that kind of friend to you." or something like that. He said he'd thought a lot about it all day and he really appreciated it. He said he missed me. I missed him, too. Separation is hard. I don't care WHAT you've been through. It is hard to separate and sort through your emotions. So his friend was going to drop him off in the morning on his way to work. We had a few minutes. He gave me big hugging action. He thanked me again. *Sigh* Ever since Saturday, he's been wonderful. He is still moving out. It'll be good for him to get out there on his own two feet. He'll be a lot happier and I will too. He's asked me to be his girl again. I said I just don't know. He's adjusted his attitude to better relations between us. It's amazing, the changes I've seen in him. I'm not his girlfriend. All of my eggs aren't in one basket. I'm being careful because I want to be sure. I'm not ruling anything out anywhere... not with him, not with anyone. Time will tell. I'm very content right now, and honestly that is something that I never thought I would say in conjunction with Mike living in my apartment. But I am. I will be glad to have my space. I am SO glad to have things peaceful, like the sun after the rain. Birds are chirping. We'll see what happens. ... 17:24:53 - eight oh two ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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