pandalicious's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Really Now A year ago everything was different. I was embarking on a strange adventure, a Gilliganic adventure which would leave me stranded on a desert isle of sorts; a definite retreat from where I was before: A new place all to myself (as was the plan), a new boyfriend that turned out to be more boy than friend... and no escape from this stranding for several months. But I got on the ship willingly. Since it was only supposed to be a three hour tour, I didn't PLAN ahead for ANYTHING and this was almost my undoing. Friday: New boat. I'm ready to try my sea-legs again. Having been there and done that in the past, with less than perfect results, I am trying to remain conscious of every detail. Every little thing to keep this boat happy and fueled and waxed. =) This could be the biggest adventure of my life. My dearest and sweetest (all in one) is now here. With me. Here. In *my* town. Not just for me, but 88% of the reason is probably me. He will find his place here and he will thrive, careerwise. I'm sure of it. He's hardworking, dependable and deserving. Things will fall into place for my boy. Having him here is quite different a feeling than having him THERE. While he was THERE we would talk of us being together constantly; how wonderful it would be to be so close. Now here we are. Here we are. Now the show must go on. This is no dress rehearsal. We'll be fine. It is different. A good different. It's strange, the every day of someone. Why is this any different than any other relationship? Today I was awakened by warm arms enclosing me and gentle, sweet kisses on my face. It's the softest way to wake up. The smoothest transition. I am happy and in love and a little scared. Luckily the scared that I am is nothing like last year's scared. This scared is the scared of being really loved and trusting it so much without taking it for granted. It's a scare that goes away when I get brave and just hold his hand and realize that this is US and it is ALIVE and it is REAL... 2:46 p.m. - May 23rd, 2001 :: 2:49pm ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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