pandalicious's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My Weird Green Day So Ashton finally came over. Mike called from work, missing his cigarettes. He'd asked me to bring him a pack from his carton. I told him that I would but it might be awhile. Ashton finally shows up at 2:45 or so. Probably even later. At 3pm, M. calls and says that it's after 3 and he hasn't had a cigarette all day. Now he KNEW that Ashton would be over at some point. I told him last night. Before he left for work, I'd asked him to pick his backpacks up off of the bathroom floor and move them into the bedroom. He said, ohhh are you sure you guys won't TRIP over them on your way to have sex? He was kidding, I think. Who knows. I told him that we weren't gonna have sex. But he said that we were TOTALLY going to have sex. So I guess all day he'd been freaking over it secretly. That's why it was urgent to him that I leave the house immediately to bring him some smokes. (I told you guys before, I KNOW how he thinks.) I will admit that Ashton has never gotten over me. The last time I saw him was Valentine's Day of 99. He was MARRIED at the time (he's not anymore), to this girl that he'd been seeing for a long time. Her name was Shelly and my name is Kellee...so there were times that he'd slip and call her Kellee. Naturally, she didn't handle that well. She hated me without ever meeting me. This was in 96. I have NOT even casually dated Ash since 90 or 91. I posed NO threat what-so-ever. Anyway. The last time he saw me, Valentine's Day. He called and asked me to meet him up at this bar to see a band play. I figured that his wife would be with him, being VDay and all. My mom said that she probably wouldn't be. She was right. So I hear a drunk Ashton telling me how he will always love me, that he still loves me, how he always remembered how we got along so well and how good it was when we were together. He asked me to go to a HOTEL ROOM!!!! I was like NOOOOOOOOOOO but I bet if I'd said yes, we'd have gone straight away... he tried to kiss me. His kiss was met with my hand darting up to shield my non-cheating lips from the approaching intrusion. I told him to go home and kiss his wife. He said that he bought her a $180 jacket and she complained and cried because it wasn't romantic enough. I can understand the frustration, but I'm not about to do anything like that at all... no cheating, no cheat-assists. Even if he WASN'T married, No. It surprised me that he still thought of me romantically. I mean, I'm flattered, but it's hard for me to think of him in that way again. It was so long ago... We do get along really well. He's a genuine, nice guy. He's actually really cool. He just bought the same Modest Mouse cd as I did! Amazing. Anyway, when we left here today, we went to deliver the cigs. Ashton came in to meet M. and then M. asked us to stay for a little bit, he was gonna take a smoke break. So we chatted. Then we left. It was hot as hell outside. Ash and I went to get a bite to eat. It was nice. We found a new good place to eat! We threw some darts. I *really* suck at darts. Then we went to the thriftee store! YAY! Mike called at least 3 or 4 times. The second to last time he said all whisperee that he wanted to talk to me later. Ah HAAAAAAAAA. Jealousy! So when we picked M. up from work he had to sit in the backseat. Hah. It was funny. Ash was already IN the front seat. M. is NOT my b/f, so why would I make Ash move? No priorities there. None. And guess who got me a PRESENT!? Hah. Mike got me these oilburning candles from his work. He wrapped it up and drew a little panda on it and a dancing guy and a mirror ball. Ashton was so uncomfortable. Mike SAID he wasn't trying to impose, but he was doing such a good job of it. =) When we got back here, M. offered Ash a beer. He stayed just about long enough to drink that and then he was outta here. Mike was sitting soooooooo right next to me, rubbing my back, trying to hold my hand... just EVERYTHING to try to claim me as his own. I went outside to say goodbye to Ashton and Mike waited for a grand total of 30 seconds before he swung the door open to come outside to smoke. He was waiting long enough for us to get ready to kiss if we were going to. I know the timing. His goal was to interrupt and/or surprise any kiss that was about to (in his mind ONLY) happen. Ash was barely out of the complex before M. asked me if we'd kissed, if we wanted to... all that. If I was going to get back together with him. He said he was freakin' out ALL day about it. So NOW he knows how I feel. Only I drive him to meet other girls. I am really glad to see that he acknowledges that other people might take an interest in me. It makes him treat me better, more like a prize, more like he's lucky to have me... Yes, even though we aren't going to make it as a couple, it's nice to know that we don't really want to see anyone else get us either. Isn't that fukt up?!?!?! Oh well. It's the way it is. I like to feel wanted. I mean I think I'd feel like crap if I was the only one that worried. His worrying shows that he cares. Yay. I think! hehe... 23:59:34 - Entry 3 for Sunday, August 6th! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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