pandalicious's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My Aeroplane did it all the right ways, but still seems to get shot down... Do you know what SUCKS? No, I mean BESIDES Britney Spears voice and the fact that they took Strangers with Candy off the air. It sucks being told that you are TOO OLD for someone that you have the most fricking enormous crush on, maybe of all time. Yeah. Guess what happened to ME this morning? Brian, Brian, Brian :: the boy that I've become totally enamored with and believed it to be at least somewhat mutual broke the bad, sad news to me that he can't get over that age thang. Oh baby, age ain't nuthin' but a number. I totally respect his honesty, I totally hate that there is nothing that I can do to fix this and make him believe that there could be something worth having there. There IS something worth having, though maybe the timing isn't right. I wish wish wish that it was. I would love to love him and adore him openly. I suppose that it isn't meant to be. I can still be FRIENDS with him, but I'm sure the longing will last awhile. The desire to touch his soft skin, tousle his gorgeous hair, to look into his eyes and tell him all of my top secret telepathic messages. =) It's all going to be okay. I know this. I don't ever HAVE to HAVE anyone. But for once in my life I would love to have someone that is... well, I guess just Brian. =) There is nothing we can do, even if we all collectively try to send subconscious thoughtwaves to the brain of the Brian, convincing him that I would be good to him and make him very happy. That I would never hurt him or give him any reason to ever get jealous. That he would never know that I've ever loved anyone before because I could love him so passionately. So, send the brainwaves if you must, but it probably won't do any good. I'm going to go listen to all the songs that remind me of him and try not to cry. I've been good at the not crying about it so far. I guess it's pointless to cry when there's really nothing that can change the facts that went into the decision here. But still, I am a sentimental heart. The aeroplane flies high, turns left, looks right... 15:28:41 - October 13th, 2K :: 11:33am ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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