pandalicious's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Four clouds of Gloom Tomorrow is my one year anniversary at Dland! Yay me. But for real. I can't seem to shake this depression. It's like cloudy day syndrome. If things are moving just right, sun will shine through and energize me but just as quick as that can happen, the clouds can move back in. I don't know what's up with me. 1) I stopped taking my synthroid. I didn't really MEAN to, I just put it in this bag that I don't think about until I get to work and that's when I usually take it. Not taking it will make my thyroid underactive and that potentially causes my sluggishness. I mean I literally feel weak enough to just fall down sometimes. Kerplop stylee. The other afternoon, Matt and I were walking around in a junk store and I wondered to myself if anyone else ever gets freaked out when they think about us all walking. I mean just that we take that for granted but it was a big developmental era for each of us and we mostly forget about that. I don't, but maybe that's because I feel wobblee sometimes like I might be walking one second and not the next. Wobblee Panda. 2) Is it a space thing? Do I need my space? Obvious answer is OF COURSE but that is so hard to do. I mean hard because I truly want Matt around. I guess last night the thought crossed my mind that Matt came home and got online and that I also spend some of our together time online even though we're in the same room and that struck me as sad. Not like boo hoo sad but like this : we wanted to NOT live together so we could DATE. This is like living together only slightly different. Either of us being on the computer at all while the other is doing whatever else is NOT and will NEVER BE considered a GOOD DATE. Not by me and not by anyone in their right minds. So I'm thinking that maybe I'm afraid that this all is detracting from our missing each other and being really excited to be around each other when we are. NOW, I *am* still always glad to see Matt and I know he's the same good glad to see me, I can tell... But eventually I'm going to get to that point where we'll be just THERE and I don't want that to happen yet. Besides, my house is a mess and I haven't been motivated to clean because I think my mind is a worse mess and that's coming first. =) 3) Maybe if I physically organized my place my mind would cheer up. I know last week I felt all innerly cool because I started using Money (the program) to help me get organized monetarily speaking. But I have too much clutter and no good place to put it and unfortunately no computer program can help me feel all innerly cool about that. It's like a SHELF would be the thing. A big tall shelfie thing so I can clear off the good spot on my desk for the scanner to go... hooker that jimmy up. 4) More people need to consistantly bid on my ebay stuff. That always brightens my day. For real, I have some strawberry shortcake stuff and a rainbow brite thing and some random other junque. Go to ebay now and lookup seller ID skeletal12 ... that's our ID. Plus, we're trying to raise road trip fundage/art supply dollahs so it's for a good cause! Okay I'm gonna go watch Buffy. Goodbye. 7:39 p.m. - 2001-06-05 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||