pandalicious's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Woo Woo I am listening to MP3s right now, and the U2 version of the Mission Impossible theme is on. The good one, the first one. Now, I just was NOT at all into the newest MI. I like John Woo, but this movie suffered from Lackaplottism. How sad. But despite the horrible disfiguring Lackaplottism that it faces, it's still brought in a lot of money. Whenever I am in a movie and I notice things that irritate me, I realize how fucking bored I am. Sometimes I will visualize the camera crew standing around filming the exact scene that is on... I imagine how the director must say, "Okay Charlize, (yes I know, not MI:2; Astronaut's Wife actually) I want you to put your hand up to the window like THIS (and he or she illustrates) and then look all sad, like you are full of woe. And we'll have Todd shake the window, so it looks like the ROCKETSHIP TAKEOFF is close enough to make it shake, you know? It'll be DRAMATIC. Ready? GO!!!" and then she will do it, perfectly sad and then the whole crew will be like "YAY CHARLIZE!! We felt sad just then for a second...GOOD WORK!!" and then 2 of them will be like "what a fucking amazing actress she is... AMAZING." And to me it's just funny to think that there is at least one camera zooming in on her sad sad hands. Imagine if, in your life, there were cameras filming what some director thought was most necessary or profound of you. I just think it's funky. But back to MI:2. The masks are COOL (say that out loud, but in a sarcastic tone all the while shaking your hands like you are a jazz dancer...) the first 3 times. Okay, new gag, yall. I mean, COME THE FUCK ON. Ethan goes into these places in a TIGHT BLACK OUTFIT for stealth purposes. Suddenly, and whenever he needs it, he has a perfectly molded mask AND voice tab for the EXACT stranger or bad-guy opponent that he has run into. Where the HELL did he get it? Did he have it shoved in the crotch of his Calvins? How did he know who all was going to be there in the Underground Lair? Wouldn't that take some time to put on, even IF he had several of them in his butt-pocket? Oh, also did you notice that in the first scene he totally looked like he jumped right out of one of those annoying GAP ads? What's with the khaki capri pants, big guy? Another thing that irks me about the movie... well, he entered from the ceiling again. Oh goodie. Like that hadn't been done IN THE LAST ONE... It's just a new setting basically. I also wonder about the high tech gadgetry that all of these companies have for their NEW deadly viruses. Do you really think that there would be huge wholly electronic and futuristic 3-story rooms constructed just to house like 2 vials of the stuff? And would they really make a cool looking gun to inject the viruses with? Granted, I don't know, having never been to a place that deals with such things... but I kind of doubt it. Just for fun, when Mike was drinking a YooHoo last weekend, I told him that it reminded me of MI:2. He looked puzzled. I said, "yeah, remember the scene?" Blank confusion. "yeah, the YooHoo scene!" You're making this up, he says. "Noooo. Remember when they were riding the motorcycles and Tom Cruise's character was done with his YooHoo... and just as the other guy was in the middle of loading his gun, Tom Cruise's character says YOOHOO. And when the bad guy looks, Tom Cruise's character hurls the empty bottle at him and it smacks him straight between the eyes and then his eyes cross and his tongue sticks out and he falls off his bike." I like to say Tom Cruise's character repeatedly because it would seem that I wasn't paying much attention to the movie, if I didn't even catch his name. So how would I remember this scene? hehe. I thought it would be a kick-ass scene to add though. Maybe I will write to John Woo and see if they can redo the motorcycle scene for the directors cut.
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