pandalicious's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mac & Me in Dreamland I'm an officially tagged driver of New Joizee now! Hot diggity dog. NOW, with the expense of making me street legal out of the way, I can afford to buy my Mac! I know that I need a Mac. I want to be able to say that I'm comfy cozy on that platform and not have to hope that no one finds out. I've always been an awful liar. I think the guilt shines through my skin like a flashlight, with my conscience inside morse-coding an SOS. ... .... . .----. ... / .-.. -.-- .. -. --. I haven't been given much to do in the way of work here lately and that's a good thing. Debbie told me she wouldn't send much and I suspect that's because she feels a modicum of guilt. She'd told me I'd get at least 30 days notice, but what can she do? It's not her place to say. I know things happen for a reason. I need to get out of the house more. I need to meet more people. I need to be more inspired by my work. I need to be forced to get dressed every day. =) But seriously. I am talented. Ever since I was a kidlet, people have been telling me that I should go into advertising. I mean since before you actually ever think you'll reach the age where you have to work. I've heard people say that so many times. I think that it's a shame that I might not get that chance because I don't know Mac or Quark. I didn't know Illustrator before I got my last gig. I can handle it. I'm fast like lightning when it comes to learning stuff. I hope that someone out there is willing to take the chance that Debbie took... at least I have three solid years fleshing my way through boring graphic design. You can't take that away from me. Ooh - also, since my job is officially finito as of next Friday, I checked into unemployment. That was an option that I didn't want to even consider. In all reality, though, I gotta cover my bases. I don't want to take any job just to have a job and miss out on something great because it comes up a week later. I don't want to work at Starbucks or at a photo lab or anywhere retail. I don't think I'm going the way of the daycare. I *should* be in graphic design/advertising and that's both the long and the short of it. So, the word on the UE is that I am eligible for up to 26 weeks, about $284 a week, which is the highest allowable in the state of Georgia. It's way less than I make now, but probably equal to what I'd be pulling in doing a retail gig. And this way I would be able to learn the Mac and Quark and continue my job search until I find the good gig. I took a shamefully long nap today. Sleep is my only vice... well, okay it's my worst habit. Other vices include: Red Lobster's Cheddar Bay Biscuits, Water Ice, Blue Icees, CinniStix, Donatos Pizza, Thrift Stores... but sleep is the one that isn't like living at all. I suppose I would just be goofing off in front of the computer or the TV if I didn't nap, the times that I do, especially because I'm chained to the house until 5pm with this stay at home gig. My bed, though! It's wonderfully warm and the fake down comforter wraps around you like a big, imaginary goose wing, nuzzling you into dreamland. The gentle darkness that the room offers up; it's all too inviting. You even rest your head on just one of the cushy pillows and throw your arm around one of the baby animals and you can be pulled in to this Realm of Nap. As I drifted off the sugarplum faeries weren't dancing; they were walking in a bowling alley with canes and whipped cream on their beards. As they rounded the corner, I glimpsed this and woke myself with laughter. I don't understand my silly vision in that threshhold between awake and asleep. Even seconds after they happen, even if they make me rattle myself to waking - I don't know what it was that made them so entertaining in the first place. But it's not living. I say I need a hobbie and maybe I have one: sleep. No, DREAMING. Maybe I should find a hobbie where my eyes are open and I'm sitting up. Yeah. Probably. 2:19 p.m. - April 25, '02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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